Horror and Embarassment

I am embarassed it has been such a long time. Wish I could tell you that I have been busy getting skinny but not the case.

I am starting to be more introspective and try and understand some of my issues so that I can be successful.

I lost some weight in August only to go one vacation in September and put some back on. Picture my horror, stepping on the scale 12 lbs heavier than when we left 10 days before. How does that happen?

I have gone back to basics and I am counting. I have been since Monday. Five days. Feels good to have some structure back.

I have a few other thoughts that are weighing on me. I think they deserve their own post.

cleaning out the pantry

a lot of bad food has been hiding out in cupboards and pantry. stuff i shouldn't eat, but did. yesterday, i stocked up on good things. made a costco run and hot up the supermarket too for produce. was able to keep my shopping cart full of clean things. came home proud and motivated.

while putting the groceries away I found a packet of oatmeal that looked like it had been nibbled on. yikes! upon closer examination, i found droppings. yes, rodent droppings. small, but still droppings. so gross. first, i am totally embarrassed that i had a mouse in the house. our house is always pretty clean. i like it clean but my husband insists that it is clean. second, it gave me the creeps that this little thing was crawling all over.

i immediately started cleaning the entire pantry, pulling everything out. having to touch every piece of food in the pantry was a perfect start. gave me the opportunity to evaluate what I had, what i should eat and what to toss. i guess this is the sunny side of having a mouse in your house. the pantry is perfectly organized, rid of stuff that shouldn't be around, the food is rotated and everything is sealed up. my husband picked up a bunch of tupperware while he with getting so sticky mice traps. he came home and set out 4.

last night, as i was finishing up my blog header I heard some scurrying and then some squeeking. sure enough, a mouse. i never saw it. too chicken. it must have been living under the dryer. don't really know how it got in. i think it was only one. 3 more traps are waiting for others in case there are more. i really don't think so though.

so here's to you little mouse. thanks for motivating me to rid my pantry of things that should have never been there in the first place. sorry, to you that you had too go but i'm not so good at sharing my food, especially with a mouse.

cheers

here's to 09.

a fresh start. i needed a clean slate.

this is personal. that is a good thing. weight loss needs to be more personal for me. i am doing it for me and the ones i love. i am the only one who can do it.

there is no magic wand. i know what works and now is the time to do it. no more waiting!

to be honest, i don't have a certain number or size in mind. instead, i have a feeling in mind. this time i am not aiming for perfection, rather health. i want to feel good. not sluggish. not tired. not slow. rather, energetic, smiley and fun. i know that a lighter me would help this situation, not just physically, but emotionally.

not going to focus so much on the numbers this time. that is as long as things are going down, even if just a bit.

so, the format? simple. feelings. thoughts. gripes. achievements. personal.

thinking about starting another blog for other things that i think would help others like recipes, finds, links, etc. many of your blogs have helped me. i want to do the same. will keep you posted.

i want to share that. that's why i am here. i would love support. find others here encouranging. thanks!

so cheers to the new year. cheers to all that is to come. cheers to momentum, best of both worlds. (more to come on that later.) cheers to finally feeling fine. cheers to 09!