Yes, I Shower!

I swear that my husband thinks that I never shower. While this is NOT the case, I can see why he thinks this. I look worn down and I am almost always in lounge clothes because on days that I try and get ready in the morning I usually end up getting slimed by the baby or spilled on by the toddler and throw my hands up and end up back in the same pants I had on when he left that morning.

I know it bothers him. Heck, it bothers me!!!

Today, I didn't shower. I got up and exercised and then between the two kids and the house never made it in the shower. My husband was home a little early because it was a Friday, but that didn't make me feel any better about the situation. He took the baby and I tossed the toddler in the shower with me. (Not my favorite person to shower with since she chanted "Shamu, Shamu" while we were in the tub together. I know she is 2 and it was innocently but still.) Shaved my legs for the first time in over a week and when we got out I sent her downstairs to play and took some time for myself. I actually did my makeup and hair and put on a nice outfit hoping to put my husbands fear of an unshowered and unkept wife to rest.

Within minutes of taking the baby off his hands, I heard snoring. Great! Wondering if it was really worth all the trouble. Around 5:30, I decided to start dinner. Had planned it out so it fit in my points. I was starting to set the table when he woke up. He came over and asked what I was doing. When I explained that I was fixing dinner, he said not to bother because we were going out, because I looked nice so why not. (Yeah, he did notice!) I was excited, but also torn because I had planned everything out and was nervous about what I would eat and how I would have planned differently all day if I knew we were going out. I had a feeling that he was looking for an excuse for sushi. (Our usual would definitely been way out of my point range.)

I mentioned earlier that I have been taking some time to really think about my issues and the reasons behind them. One, is that my husband is not really supportive of me trying to lose weight. He is a bit of a saboteur. More on this later. I still have a lot to figure out about it. He also says that I am too rigid when trying to lose weight and plan too much. While I was reserved about the whole situation, I decided to try to be more spontaneous and go with it and trust myself. Luckily, he didn't have anything in mind and left it up to me. I offered up Subway/Jamba Juice. He bit and we were off.

The Subway/Jamba are near this specialty market that had a huge deli (kind of like Whole Foods). Last second, we decided to check out the deli/restaurant for dinner instead because I had a few things that I wanted to pick up. When we walked in the store, my husband picked me up a dozen beautiful yellow roses and had them wrapped up in green tissue. Very romantic and not like my husband at all. There were a million things to pick from but I settled on roasted turkey breast, green beans with almonds and mashed potatoes. I had a couple fresh mozzarella balls, a bit of mac and cheese, a nibble of my husbands cookie and a few small pieces of good quality licorice that was plucked for the bulk bins. I only bought a few knowing that there would be no stopping once I started. When I think about it I wish I would have bought more but again, knew that I shouldn't. We were able to chat while toddler played in the kids area and the baby shoveled down whatever he could get his hands on.

So with all this rambling, I guess what I am trying to say is that I should take better care of myself, both for me and my husband. I should also be flexible. I just need to be determined to count. Final count: only 4 over for the day and I had plenty WPAs to cover it. It was a fun night out and I appreciate my husband noticing and making an effort.

And...

Yes, I do shower!

Horror and Embarassment

I am embarassed it has been such a long time. Wish I could tell you that I have been busy getting skinny but not the case.

I am starting to be more introspective and try and understand some of my issues so that I can be successful.

I lost some weight in August only to go one vacation in September and put some back on. Picture my horror, stepping on the scale 12 lbs heavier than when we left 10 days before. How does that happen?

I have gone back to basics and I am counting. I have been since Monday. Five days. Feels good to have some structure back.

I have a few other thoughts that are weighing on me. I think they deserve their own post.

The Shred - Day 2

Two days done. 28 to go!

I'm sore! Mostly in my legs. Found I couldn't jump near as high today as yesterday. Can't wait to be over the soreness but that probably means I need to move up a level.

I love that it is 25 minutes beginning to end. Makes it easy to squeeze in. Yesterday the kids were napping when I did it, but not the case today. Baby boy was pretty content and the little girl had fun jumping along. It got tough on the last set of abs but I was determined. Grunting to get through it I think scared the little girl and she was worried I was hurt.

It hurt, but in a good way!

The Alternative

It's 10:45 pm and I am hungry.

Points are gone.

Husband is searching the cabinets for a snack.
Sounds like he is settling on a bowl of Race Krispies.

I think I just need to head to bed!

It Feels Good

Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
American Poet

What a good start to the day!

Tracking again and feeling good about it!
Ate a good breakfast! (Breakfast Sandwich, Apple, Plenty of Water)
Made a plan for the day and starting to work on my list.
Feeling my motivation return.

"The Shred"

Two more donuts, stale too! Not good! they are done with. I am not going to mention the Easter candy that I have eaten. Enough with confessions.

Easter was nice. The kids are so little we can do it on our timeline. We slept in, went to church, had lunch and then told the little girl that the Easter Bunny would pay her a visit while she was napping. She loved finding the eggs and was proud of her haul.

While we mostly focus on the kids for holidays, my husband bought me Jillian Michaels' "30 Day Shred". Thoughtful because he knows I have been wanting it. I have to admit that I am way nervous about how hard it may be. Plan is to start the 30 days on Wednesday with Em, a good friend and WW. I am glad to have someone to be accountable to as well as to all of you so that I really stick with it. So, HOLD ME TO IT!!!

Temptation

Yes, there is a box of these sitting on my counter.
No, I didn't put them there!
Yes, my husband thought it was a good idea.
No, he wasn't thinking straight.
Yes, it is making rededicating myself very difficult!
Yes, I caved and shoved one in my mouth on my way to be last night.
No, it was not smart!
Yes, I kicked myself for it!
No, I am not going to do it again.

I get supporting a cause but donuts? Really? We don't need them around here to for me to stare at all day long!